MOVING ON...

Right. They (they, again!) say that there are five stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining (the grieving person may make bargains with the powers that be, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the pain?"), depression and acceptance. I would like to think that I’ve gone through them in fast-forward mode- something I do with annoying, fit-for-rickshaws songs in a DVD. I would like to follow the unscrupulous Scarlett O’Hara- I’ll not think about it now. I’ll think about it tomorrow when it doesn’t hurt so much. I would like to think that acceptance has come, suspiciously prematurely, but is here to stay. Acceptance, not resignation, mind you. The world moves on and so must I. I would like to think that this newly revived hope will float.

To kill a mockingbird is my favourite book on earth. And Atticus Finch my favourite character(only after Scout, of course). And he helps me again in this dark hour, like he had ages ago. He refuses to be trumped by pessimism and strives to trounce Luck and Fate and Destiny. He does not agree with me. Well, I’ll admit that the ramblings of the previous post were dark and sulky- but I’m coping. This too shall pass. And as for Atticus, well, I have this- You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. Besides, it’s rather creepy to have one’s parents adopt the expression of people visiting the terminally ill. It’s sheer selfishness to put them through this, to drag them in your misery. So, I put an end to this once and for all. The show must go on.

I tried, but I failed and that’s that. I’ll let Rudyard Kipling sum it up for me:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those impostors just the same.
(If you can )watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it.

Amen.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."
- Atticus Finch to Jem Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee)