It was rude, I know. I haven’t been raised this way, you know. You DO know. Of course, you do. You ARE omniscient after all. I should have thanked you earlier. It is funny that when something bad happens, or something goes wrong, and I’m debilitated by grief or confusion or anger, I waste no time in railing at you. I rave and rant. I scream and cry. I abuse you, I revile you, I ask you “Why? Why me?” .But now that a thin shaft of the sunlight of hope and joy seems to have pierced the thick pall of gloom that had set in, I dither in thanking you.
I think I know why, though. Maybe my eyes are so accustomed to the dark, that light is painful and suspect- it’s like one would mistrust pleasantness in a desert, thinking it a mirage. Light hurts now and my brain instructs me to be wary, to shun celebration, and to suppress the expression of joy. Do you think me blasé, jaded, an ungrateful brat even? That I doubt your ways? That I stand at the brink of the calm sea that you have set before me- dipping a toe in, doubtful of the calm, wary of violent undercurrents? Do you think I lack faith, or do you understand this state of being?
You know, I had toyed with the idea of disbelief. I tried to be one of those who dismiss you as superstition, myth, a figment of our imagination or the resort of the weak and cowardly. Some say I could go to Hell for such sacrilege. But, I know that the whole idea of “Heaven and Hell” was something you let them believe- it was just a practical joke you played on them, to keep them in line. I know that Heaven is a place on earth. And so is Hell. And that’s how you intended them to be.
I think I know why, though. Maybe my eyes are so accustomed to the dark, that light is painful and suspect- it’s like one would mistrust pleasantness in a desert, thinking it a mirage. Light hurts now and my brain instructs me to be wary, to shun celebration, and to suppress the expression of joy. Do you think me blasé, jaded, an ungrateful brat even? That I doubt your ways? That I stand at the brink of the calm sea that you have set before me- dipping a toe in, doubtful of the calm, wary of violent undercurrents? Do you think I lack faith, or do you understand this state of being?
You know, I had toyed with the idea of disbelief. I tried to be one of those who dismiss you as superstition, myth, a figment of our imagination or the resort of the weak and cowardly. Some say I could go to Hell for such sacrilege. But, I know that the whole idea of “Heaven and Hell” was something you let them believe- it was just a practical joke you played on them, to keep them in line. I know that Heaven is a place on earth. And so is Hell. And that’s how you intended them to be.
I won’t argue with your logic, but I think you are taking the “mysterious ways” bit a little too far, don’t you? Wouldn’t it be just easy to give us a bird’s eye view of your grand schemes for us? So we know that the black weft threads interlaced with the gold warp ones actually form your rich, beautiful tapestry of a plan and are both equally important for the integrity of your plans? So we bide our time during downs and are sedate during ups? But then, you never intended this puzzle to be simple right? I agree. But still, there’s no harm in negotiating, right? Right.
So here I go. Thank you. Even for the black threads and especially for the gold ones.
