A gentleman’s game

Dear Mr. Ponting,

I take this opportunity to congratulate you and your team on your sixteenth consecutive Test victory. The ways and means you applied to clinch victory from the jaws of a draw have reinforced everyone’s faith in your dedication to victory, by hook or by crook.

By the way, it was quite a shrewd move to declaw the Indian team by getting Harbhajan Singh out of the way, racist bigot that he is. Quite a spanner in the works he was becoming, what with getting your wicket thrice and scoring sixty-four runs. Good move Mr. Ponting. You showed him that Aussies aren’t called world champions for nothing- champion strategists, champion sledgers, and now, champion truth-modifiers. (But I’m quite sure Bhajji did not mean to insult monkeys; so don’t get PETA to hound the poor lad. He has enough troubles with the three match ban as it is)

Have you read “The Alchemist” Mr. Ponting? Well, the author Paulo Coelho has this curious notion that when you want something badly, the universe conspires to bring it to you. You really wanted this win badly, didn’t you Mr. Ponting? The match umpires, working for the universe, ruled in your favour eight times out of nine in the appeals made. Phew! That’s some potent force, the universe.

And of course, the Indians are being babies by crying foul, aren’t they Mr. Ponting? Oh, and wasn’t the match referee simply a prince of a fellow by believing your “boys” without an iota of evidence? That happened even though it boiled down to the Indians’ word against yours. I think it was the universe at work again. Of course, it is silly to believe that racism had any part to play in the referee’s decision. Racism is only when Bhajji calls Symonds “big monkey” (if he called him so, that is), what you Aussies do is just healthy, spirited derision, all in good humour and an integral part of the game.

Oh, but the Indians say that they could never be racists. India gave the world Gandhi after all; the same Gandhi who fought apartheid in South Africa. Ha. I’m sure Gandhi was part Australian. How else would you explain his egalitarian ideals and devotion to truth? Speaking of truth, it was clever to point the pavilion to Ganguly. It was touch and go for a minute there wasn’t it? When the umpire asked you if you thought Ganguly should be given “out”? A lesser man would not have had the presence of mind or the gumption to raise his index finger and lower his principles. But you were equal to the moral pressures of this deed. Kudos to you, Mr. Ponting!

You have shown the world that the Aussies are world champions…in something.

Regards.
An Indian.