Dear Bal uncle,
One hardly sees you in any public forum nowadays. Is retirement going well for you? Or are you still calling the shots? I am almost beginning to miss your incendiary speeches, your fiery interviews, your formidable dark shades and your saffron glow. Almost.
But what’s this I hear about your lackeys defending hooligans who molested women on New Year’s Eve? The media folks are painting innocent "boys” criminals again, are they? Pesky gossip-mongering nuisance, these media fellows, I tell you. Take their duties as the fourth pillar of democracy too seriously. Why, we wouldn’t have coups, famines, wars, assassinations, terror-strikes and such unpleasantness if the media didn’t report these. We civilians would then have such a strong, unshakeable sense of security. (What was that about ostriches with their heads buried in sand?)More trouble than good, the media, I tell you.
And so what if these alleged wrong-doers were caught on camera? They are innocent until proven guilty. Some are more so than others. Being Marathi gives them your clean-chit, after all. I’m sure these media-types are just harassing nice Marathi boys from good families; boys who were just minding their own business outside the J.W. Marriott.
Besides, even if the allegations are true. I’m sure the “boys” were sufficiently provoked and hence justified in their reaction. You must agree with me, I’m sure, that the women who were molested dressed provocatively and (horror of horrors) drank and made merry on New Year’s Eve, with complete disregard for our rich, ancient Indian culture and aped the “West” so shamelessly. Therefore, they got their just desserts. They deserved it because of their wanton, un-Indian behaviour and boys, with their raging hormones, will be boys after all. How can they be faulted for acting on instinct?
I think many crimes can be prevented (prevention being better than cure) by extrapolating this notion of yours. For instance, thefts of property could be prevented if we stopped carrying money about, shut down banks, stopped buying valuables like gold, cars, TV etc, because they are just invitations to thieves and robbers. Murders could be avoided if we all wore medieval knight armours. As you can see, most common crimes can be avoided by exercising precaution. Not complying with these precautionary measures only makes one a sitting duck for would-be criminals. How can they be faulted for acting on instinct? There is a lot of potential in this revolutionary theory of yours. It would ease the workload of policemen, courts would be relatively free, and lawyers could utilize the free time by protesting against Hallmark and Valentine’s Day and, digging up pitches before India-Pak cricket matches.
I know that “Mumbai is for Marathis” is your abiding refrain. Yet, I request you to consider my case as a naturalized Mumbaikar. I was born in Mumbai and have lived here all my life, which is a substantial number of years. Although I descend from dubious East Bengal stock, I am willing to swear allegiance to Maharashtra. I celebrate Durga pooja and Ganesh Utsav with equal gusto. I speak Marathi, albeit haltingly, and am eager to learn to speak it fluently. I seek your express permission to call Mumbai and Maharashtra my home.
Regards
A non-Marathi female.
One hardly sees you in any public forum nowadays. Is retirement going well for you? Or are you still calling the shots? I am almost beginning to miss your incendiary speeches, your fiery interviews, your formidable dark shades and your saffron glow. Almost.
But what’s this I hear about your lackeys defending hooligans who molested women on New Year’s Eve? The media folks are painting innocent "boys” criminals again, are they? Pesky gossip-mongering nuisance, these media fellows, I tell you. Take their duties as the fourth pillar of democracy too seriously. Why, we wouldn’t have coups, famines, wars, assassinations, terror-strikes and such unpleasantness if the media didn’t report these. We civilians would then have such a strong, unshakeable sense of security. (What was that about ostriches with their heads buried in sand?)More trouble than good, the media, I tell you.
And so what if these alleged wrong-doers were caught on camera? They are innocent until proven guilty. Some are more so than others. Being Marathi gives them your clean-chit, after all. I’m sure these media-types are just harassing nice Marathi boys from good families; boys who were just minding their own business outside the J.W. Marriott.
Besides, even if the allegations are true. I’m sure the “boys” were sufficiently provoked and hence justified in their reaction. You must agree with me, I’m sure, that the women who were molested dressed provocatively and (horror of horrors) drank and made merry on New Year’s Eve, with complete disregard for our rich, ancient Indian culture and aped the “West” so shamelessly. Therefore, they got their just desserts. They deserved it because of their wanton, un-Indian behaviour and boys, with their raging hormones, will be boys after all. How can they be faulted for acting on instinct?
I think many crimes can be prevented (prevention being better than cure) by extrapolating this notion of yours. For instance, thefts of property could be prevented if we stopped carrying money about, shut down banks, stopped buying valuables like gold, cars, TV etc, because they are just invitations to thieves and robbers. Murders could be avoided if we all wore medieval knight armours. As you can see, most common crimes can be avoided by exercising precaution. Not complying with these precautionary measures only makes one a sitting duck for would-be criminals. How can they be faulted for acting on instinct? There is a lot of potential in this revolutionary theory of yours. It would ease the workload of policemen, courts would be relatively free, and lawyers could utilize the free time by protesting against Hallmark and Valentine’s Day and, digging up pitches before India-Pak cricket matches.
I know that “Mumbai is for Marathis” is your abiding refrain. Yet, I request you to consider my case as a naturalized Mumbaikar. I was born in Mumbai and have lived here all my life, which is a substantial number of years. Although I descend from dubious East Bengal stock, I am willing to swear allegiance to Maharashtra. I celebrate Durga pooja and Ganesh Utsav with equal gusto. I speak Marathi, albeit haltingly, and am eager to learn to speak it fluently. I seek your express permission to call Mumbai and Maharashtra my home.
Regards
A non-Marathi female.
"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others."
- George Orwell (Animal farm)
